👉 Okay, letās tackle this wonderfully weird little mouthful! Now, Iāve spent frankly too long researching this, and honestly, Iām still not entirely convinced it hasn't sprung fully formed from the fevered imagination of a quirky Midwestern insurance executive, but here's what we know about "Progressive Invisible Indemnity for Canines (and Frankly, Occasionally, Ferocious Felids)ā ā which is basically what the shorthand, and frankly somewhat terrifying name, boils down to.
What Exactly Is a Progressive Insurance Pet? Forget those pretty pictures of smiling dogs in convertible ads. What you actually get when you buy a āProgressive Invisible Indemnity for Canopies... (okay, sorry! I meant Pets!)ā isn't a fluffy, branded chew toy that pops out whenever Mittens shreds the sofa. Instead, it is the unsettling realization that Progressive Insurance somehow guarantees to cover your critterāyour poodle, your grumpy iguana, even Bartholomew the surprisingly aggressive ferretā in every conceivable, possibly horrifying, and almost entirely unbelievable accident. 90% of which you will never actually see! Hereās the breakdown: It's a policy designed to handle the stuff nobody wants to talk about, the things that happen when your beloved, probably neurotic, animal unleashes its inner chaos upon the world. Think tripped-upon mailmen, mysteriously vandalized rose bushes, and entirely inexplicable incidents involving significant property damage.